Gwendolen Wilder is an author, certified business strategist and motivational consultant. In her spare time, she works as an English language teacher and Sexual Harassment Compliance trainer. Gwendolen wrote the books “It’s OK to Tell My Story, Surviving Common Law Domestic Violence” and “The Living, Laughing & Loving Gratitude Journal”. Her life experiences and her degrees in Business Management, Social Services, and Applied Behavioral Analysis enabled her to develop checklists, action plans and provide resources to help readers break the cycle of abuse and live a survivor’ s life.
Gwendolen is a United States Air Force retired veteran, who served twenty-one honorable years in the military. Her 27 years professional journey has allowed her to carry the titles of Applied Behavioral Analysis Tutoring Therapist, Rape Crisis Center Hotline Operator, Mediator, Mediation Trainer, EO Counselor and Investigator, as well as Instructional Trainer providing education in the aforementioned specialties.
What to Expect
- Basic concepts of domestic violence
- Gas Lighting
- Helping a victim of abuse
- The recovery phase
- Why identifying a motivator helps?
- How to respond to triggers
- The safety action planning
- Denial, the center of domestic violence
- The hearts and flowers stage
- Managing domestic violence in the workplace
Gas lighting is the first stage of the domestic violence cycle that people usually ignore. It is an emotional form of abuse wherein the offender causes the victim to question their own instincts, feelings or reality that makes victims consistently apologize to themselves to make situations livable.
Concepts of Violence
Gwendolen defines violence as any threatening behavior between intimate partners that is violent or abusive. Below are the types of domestic violence.
- Sexual Financial
Tell-Tale Signs of Domestic Violence
Gwendolen shares some warning signs that may indicate a victim of domestic violence.
- Victims usually do something that has high risk
- Less contact with family and friends
- Body language
- Dress up a little differently covering a specific part of body
- Wears heavy makeup or clothing out of season
- Avoids functions at work and gathering at home
Characteristics of Abusers
Below is the list of behaviors that a potential domestic violence abuser have:
- Reluctance to understand the victim’s explanation
- Show negative behavior
- Divert victims away from their loved ones
- Obsessed with having power and control
- “If you are not emotionally ready to take the responsibility of what that person is going to say, seek help from someone that can intelligently assist them.”
- “Domestic violence victims don’t want to hear that it’s their fault, they are already getting that from their abuser, they don’t need a family member to co-sign.”
- “A motivator can help you recover, it can be anything or anyone.”
- “If you are in an abusive relationship, recognize that something is happening to you and that you are worthy, so much worth is there for you and its ok to tell your story.”
- “The way to get out of fear, shame and embarrassment is by telling your story. Start gaining control over your life.”
- “Recovery is a daily struggle, someone will make you remember the past so learn to respond to triggers.”
- “Do not let your fear control you, that is a mental torture.”
- “Domestic violence is not something that just happens at home, and it does impact the workplace.”
- “Happy employees are productive employees, do something to help.”
Do not sit in silence, be brave tell your story and get out of that relationship.